The Illusion of Empathy in the Workplace

 

We often call the office our second home. And in many workplaces today, we constantly talk about the importance of being kind, understanding, and emotionally aware. We say we want to build a culture where everyone feels seen and supported. But I find myself asking: Are we truly trying to understand others for their wellbeing—or just to make our own lives easier?

When something goes wrong—when someone makes a mistake—how many of us actually sit with that person and ask, “What’s going on? What led to this?” More often than not, we jump to conclusions, point fingers, and pass judgment based on our own assumptions.

The truth is, everyone brings their personal struggles to work. Life doesn’t pause at the office door. Whatever dilemmas or burdens we carry just get heavier as the day goes on. We are expected to keep showing up, wearing different hats, playing different roles—without ever truly being asked how we’re doing. And in the middle of all this, how many of us are actually able to stay kind and understanding, toward ourselves or others?

There’s a saying: “You can’t understand someone’s pain unless you walk in their shoes.” But in reality, how many of us are even willing to put on those shoes? Even if we know it would be uncomfortable—maybe even painful—we often choose to look away.

Yes, genuine empathy is a powerful thing. It’s a practice that asks us to slow down, listen deeply, and care beyond convenience. But let’s be honest—how many of us are truly willing to do that in the workplace?

In many offices, people are encouraged to “build emotional trust” to make the workplace feel safe. But too often, this is used as a tool—to maintain a reputation, climb the ladder, or win favors. I’ve seen people show one face to your front and another behind your back. I’ve seen people speak kindly to someone and then speak cruelly about them elsewhere. And often, it’s the same people who preach about kindness and workplace harmony.

On the other hand, I’ve also encountered genuinely kind people who want to listen, offer a hand of support, and show concern. Yet, the person they are trying to help only wants to hear the benefits, not the hard truths. When advice is given for their betterment, they act strangely and push that person away, making it feel like no one truly understands. It’s harsh. Being emotionally aware isn’t easy.

It makes you wonder—are we really creating safe spaces, or just pretending? Have we built a culture of care—or a carefully managed performance?

Maybe I sound cynical. But this isn’t coming from a place of bitterness. It’s coming from observation. From lived experience.

I’m not pessimistic. I’m just being honest.

ফিরিয়ে দাও

ফিরিয়ে দাও আমার সেই দিনগুলো

      যা ছিল আমার শুধুই আমার।

ফিরিয়ে দাও আমার সেই সোনালি দিনগুলো,

যখন আমি ছিলাম আমার রাজ্যের রাজা

আমি আমার সেই দিন গুলো ফেরত চাই।

সেই মুক্ত বিহঙ্গের ন্যায় রঙ্গিন পাখামেলে

                উড়ে বেড়ানোর সেই সময়।

তোমার বাহু বন্ধনে এখন আমার নাভিশ্বাস উঠে

                           ছেড়ে যেতে চায় মন,

                   ছিড়ে যেতেচায় সকল বাঁধন।

আমি মুক্তি চাই-সকল বাঁধন থেকে

মুক্ত বিহঙ্গের ন্যায় আমি উড়ে যেতেচাই,

আমার ফেলে আসা  সোনালি সেই দিনগুলোতে

                     ফিরে যেতে চাই

 যা ছিল আমার, একান্তই আমার।

বেলীফুলের সমাধি

আমি একজন বুদ্ধিদ্বীপ্ত চৌকস মানুষ, অফিসে আমার প্রতিটি কাজ বেশ ভালো প্রশংসা কুরায়। ৯টা-৫টা অফিস করি, অফিস শেষ এ বন্ধুদের সাথে আড্ডা দেই। বন্ধুরাও আমাকে বেশ সমঝে চলে। আমার প্রতি সকলের এই এটেনশন আমার বেশ ভালো লাগে,আমি তা উপভোগ করি। যখন শহর জুড়ে রাত্রি নামে,তখন আড্ডা শেষে আমি ঘরে ফিরি। ঘর!!! নামেই শুধু ঘর, যার দরজার ওপাশে কেউ আমার জন্য অপেক্ষা করে না। দরজার ওপাশে আমার জন্য অপেক্ষা করে একরাশ ভারী নিঃশ্বাসে ভারী হয়ে উঠা এক্টা গূমোট আবহাওয়া, যা প্রতিনিয়ত আমার জন্য অসহ্য হয়ে উঠেছে। দরজার ভাজ খুলে আমি প্রতিদিন প্রবেশ করি, চাবি, মানি ব্যাগ টাকে টেবিলের এক কোনায় ফেলে রেখে হিসেব কষতে বসি। কি হলো! কিভাবে গেলো আজ সারাটা দিন। এরপর ভাবতে ভাবতে যখন আর কোন তল খুজে পাই না তখন আমি উঠে দাড়াই, ঘড়ির কাটার দিকে তাকিয়ে দেখি এখন গভীর রাত!! তখন মনে হয়, হ্যা, আমাকে ঘুমাতে হবে। যেই ভাবা সেই কাজ, তাড়াহুরো করে শরীর টাকে এলিয়ে দেয়া বিছানার উপর তারপর ঘুমের রাজ্যে তলিয়ে যাওয়া। অতঃপর আবার আরেক্টা দিনের শুরু। এইভাবেই ভালো যাচ্ছিল দিন। একদিন অফিস থেকে ফেরার পথে হাইকোর্ট এর মোড়টা ঘুরে যেই দোয়াল চত্বরের দিকে রিকশাটা ঘুরলো তখন চোখে পড়লো ঘন সবুজ এক গাছের ফাকে শ্বেত শুভ্র কিছু ফুল, দেখে আমার চোখ আটকে গেল। আমি থমকে গেলাম। আমি রিকশাটা থামিয়ে কি এক মোহে চলে গেলাম সবুজের কাছে। হাত বাড়িয়ে ছুয়ে দিলাম সেই পবিত্র ফুল,কলি। আমার এই আবেগ দেখে গাছের মালিক ভাবলো আমি বুঝি বৃক্ষ প্রেমি, তাই সে হেসে এগিয়ে এসে বল্লো, আজকেই এনেছি স্যার!! খুব যত্ন করে গড়া। আমিও হেসে আরেকবার ছুয়ে দিলাম সেই শ্বেত শুভ্র বেলির গায়ে। চলে আসতে চাইছিলাম কিন্তু কেন যেন পারলাম না!! কি এক মোহ আমায় আচ্ছন্ন করে রাখলো,আমি তাই গাছের মালিকের কাছ থেকে বেলি চারাটি সাথে নিয়ে একেবারে সোজা নিজ ঘরে এসে ফিরলাম। সে কি উচ্ছ্বাস আমার! এখন আমি একা নই আমার সাথে আরেকজন আছে। যে আমার জন্য অপেক্ষা করবে। আমার বেলকোনির এক কোনায় তাকে ঠাই দিলাম। সারাটা রাত তার দিকে তাকিয়েই পার করে দিলাম। সকালে পানি দিলাম, গুন গুন করে গান গেয়ে শোনালাম, আমায় এখন কে পায়। এইভাবেই যাচ্ছে দিন, কাল,মাস। ধীরে ধীরে এই শুভ্রতার প্রতি আমার মোহ কমতে শুরু করলো, আজ সে আমার মনোযোগ কাড়তে পারে না। আমি এখন অনেক ব্যস্ত, অফিস করে, বন্ধুদের সময় দিয়ে বাসায় ফিরে আমার আর বেলকনিতে যাবার সময় হয় না। বোকা বেলি গাছটি আমার জন্য অপেক্ষা করে, আমার পথ চেয়ে তাকিয়ে থাকে। মাঝে মাঝে সকাল বেলা সুযোগ পেলে গাছে গোড়ায় পানি দেই। অযথা সময় নষ্ট মনে হয় একে। এর চেয়ে সকাল বেলা এক্টু আগে বের হতে পারলে অফিসে গিয়ে আরও অনেক বেশি কাজ করা যায়, কতশত ফুল ফুটে আছে অফিসের আংগিনায় সেগুলো দেখা যায়। এই এক বেলির পেছনে সময় নষ্ট করার মত সময় কোথায়!!! বোকা বেলি ঠিকই তার মালিক কে খুশি করার জন্য, তার এক্টু আদর পাওয়ার জন্য ফুলের সুবাস ছড়িয়ে যাচ্ছে। যদিওবা পানি আজকাল খুব এক্টা গাছে গোড়ায় পড়ে না, তবুও যতটুকু পড়ে সেই টুকু নিয়ে নিজেকে নি:শেষ করে শুভ্রতা ছড়িয়ে যাচ্ছে। এভাবে ধুকে ধুকে একদিন সে মৃত্যুর পানে গিয়ে যাচ্ছে। তারপরও সে চাইছে তার মালিক তার পানে এক্টু দৃষ্টি দিক। একদিন আমার মনে হলো, কি হলো আজ কেন যেন কিছু এক্টা নাই! কি নাই, তার সন্ধানে আমি নামলাম। গিয়ে দেখি, বেলকোনির এক কোনে শুক্নো মাটির উপর কিছু রং চটা পাতা আর মরচে পড়া রংয়ের কিছু ফুল পড়ে আছে। আমি থ হয়ে দাড়িয়ে রইলাম,হাতে নিয়ে কিছু শুক্নো মরা ফুলের পাপড়ি। পাপড়ি গুলো যেন আমায় কিছু বলছে, মরা পাতা আমায় কিছু বলতে চাইছে, আমিও অনেক চেষ্টা করছি,কিন্তু পারছি না শুনতে। আমার মনে পড়ে যাচ্ছে, প্রতিদিন ফুলের সুবাসে আমার জেগে উঠা, তার শুভ্রতায় নিজেকে আবিষ্ট করা সেই দিন গুলো। আমি বসে আছি বেলীর সমাধির সামনে, সুর্যের আলো এসে পড়ছে আমার গায়ে,আর আমি ভাবছি কতটা অকৃতজ্ঞ আমি, আমি ফিরে চাইনি এদিক পানে। ফুলের সুবাস পাওয়া আমার অধিকার ভেবে বসে ছিলাম, কিন্তু তাকে এক্টু যত্ন করার সময় বের করতে পারিনি!!!! হায়!! যখন আমি বুঝতে পারলাম তখন সে আমায় ছেড়ে পাড়ি জমিয়েছে অসীমের পানে।

( আমাদের জীবনের সম্পর্ক গুলো এই বেলী ফুল ও তার গাছের মত, এক্টু ভালোবাসা, এক্টু যত্নের অভাবে তা অকালেই ঝরে যায় )

Beauty or Beautiful Mind

What is more important in life, beauty or beautiful mind? Some people will go for beauty and some for beautiful mind. Man is the worshiper of beauty from the time being. Even they fight for each other as because of Beauty. Man lost his empire for beauty. According to Wikipedia beauty is a characteristic of a person, animal, place that provides a perceptual experience of pleasure or satisfaction. If we go for this line we can find that beauty gives people pleasure. But this pleasure is for what? Definition of beauty will differ from man to man. Some people may describe beauty as physical appearance, some will go for skin fairness and some will go for beautiful soul. Actually most of the people will prefer skin color as beauty. In our society when a boy chose a girl to propose for love then he gives priority on fairness, smartness, attractiveness of the girl. Fair skin color is also demandable in the field of marriage. So the fair skin girl is always boasting in herself. On the other hand dark skin color girl always feel ashamed and try to conceal herself. Not only that her family also anxious about marriage. As because in our society the bridegroom’s party is always searching for fair bride. Form their point of view beauty is just skin fairness and their primary judgment is fairness and secondary is the other qualities (social status, education, attitude, mentality etc). If we look towards the showbiz world, the dreamland of young generation, they always give priority the outlook, attractive figure or physical beauty as because it is their prime concern and through this they maximize their profit. Even though when they make an advertisement their main concern is beauty and they encourage people to purchase their product to become beautiful in the eyes of people. As an example “Fair and lovely, Ponds Age miracle, Lux “are well-known beauty product which always proclaim that by using their product any one can have fair and glowing skin in 7 days. But this physical beauty is not eternal. It must be lost its stability. So the question arise in mind that does physical beauty or skin fairness is all for a human being? If so, then what about the knowledge, intellect, skill of a man.  As we know knowledge, intellect and skill are the endeavor result of a man. A man cannot achieve it without proper enthusiasm. And when a man attains it, naturally it reflects his/her mind. Which we call a beautiful mind and from mind it reflects to his/her face. On the other hand beauty is the natural quality of a man, by born a man can achieve it. To achieve it, one does not need to give any kind of physical or mental effort. But to achieve mental beauty is not so easy matter, it takes time. Purity, altruistic, integrity, positivity always exits in a beautiful mind. A man who has beauty in his mind can create an impressive atmosphere around him. He also can change a society through his positive mind-set. Beautiful mind people always take positive steps to do good for people. A beautiful mind people may not have so called beauty or glamour, but their recognition is eternal because to this people physical beauty cannot defeat with their mental beauty. If we look through our society or around the world that the positive changes or steps have taken for the welfare of people, is possible only for the mental beauty of man. Here physical beauty have no role, it just can give momentary pleasure. So to be a perfect and pure human being in life one should attempt to have a mental beauty not physical beauty. At the end of the day physical beauty disappeared behind the mental beauty.

Critical Analysis of “The Role of Materials in the Language Classroom: Finding the balance”

“Anything which is used to help to teach language learners. Materials can be in the form of a textbook, a workbook, a cassette, A CD-Rom, a video, a photocopied handout, a news paper, a paragraph written on a white board, anything which presents or informs about the language being learned.”

-          Brain Tomlinson,

Material plays an important part in the language learning system.  Jane Crawford in his article “The Role of Materials in the Language Classroom: Finding the balance” writes about the materials that are using to meet up the learners needs.  There are basically three parts of his article, one is introduction, next is preplanned teaching materials-helpful scaffold or deliberating Crutch? And another one is Effective Teaching Materials. Crawford in his second part of his article tells about the different concerns view about using materials in the classroom and in third part he used to talk about the effectiveness of materials. In the second part the question arise that do preplanned materials can meet the needs of the all learners, because all learners have their own learning needs, interest and motivation so their learning needs will different. All the human being is unique so their needs will be unique and different from others. So depending on this issue, if the teacher conduct the class from a preplanned book than the learners will be de motivated and it will hamper the learning environment. Second language acquisition process is different for learners, the entire learner cannot obtain same thing in a certain time they need more or less time. For pre planned materials if the teacher intended to take the class with same materials without assessing the learner’s needs than their purpose and outcome will not be up to the mark. Preplanned course book reduce teachers role in the class and sometimes there will be culturally differences attitude in a pre planned course book or materials, which will have negative effect on the learners because they cannot relate their learning with their real world and fail to contextualize language activities.

According to author materials writer have to be familiar with the teaching and learning style and the context of the materials use otherwise the material will be useless. So the material designer has to be experienced, because they know the critical use of materials in the classroom. With the growing tendency of technological use teachers also have to know the use of technology and their uses. By using the modern technology students will get the opportunity of outer world and it reflects the real world to the students and it grabs the attention of the learners. But if the teacher only follow the text book then all the activity will be more controlled and their will be no feedback or challenges for the learners to improve their own learning. To design a material teacher has to know the answer of the questions is that what is learnt indeed learnable. In the article author tells that teacher’s guide may provide a scaffold for leaner’s to think. In the article the author suggests that participants should get chance to participates so that they can identify where the lesson fits into the wider context of the language program. Hutching and Torres suggestion for this is the text book is important because it allows for negotiation, accountability and orientation.

In Effective teaching materials part the author eight characteristics of effective materials. In a language learning process two component play the main role, one is student and the other one is teacher and the materials bridge them in a tie. So a material has to be effective otherwise the bridge will be broken. The author in this section emphasis on language to develop materials. Language is functional and must be contextualize, because the language is purposeful and for a certain purpose people learn second language. So the materials have to develop concerning their context. So he told that language development requires learner’s engagement in purposeful use. To engage learners more the audio-video materials inclusion will make learners more inter active. They feel interest, so choosing the video and audio materials with the cultural context. Depending on the learner’s background and goals, teacher can decide whether to enhance and reduce this focus. The language use in the materials should be realistic and authentic, to learn language if the teacher use authentic materials then it remains long period in the learners mind. And another remarkable thing is use realistic language, so that it can create easy environment for all proficiency level. Suppose using to correct pronunciation if a teacher use a video which contained 7-8 minutes than the learner will not understand all the words and they feel difficulty so the material will not be authentic. So to make authentic video, it must contain minimum 5 points.  Another point he includes classroom material will usually seek to include an audio visual component and his pint of view is effective teaching materials foster learner’s autonomy. So his emphasis on giving exercise or activities by using multi media. If it can be done then the student will move into a new situation and it creates learning environment. He also gives emphasis on materials flexibility and creates materials depending on individual and contextual differences as well as engage learners both affectively and cognitively. To develop language proficiency one learner should have knowledge on 4 skills.  To make the learner real communicator if the materials cannot provide the opportunity of these four skills development then the aim will not be fulfilled. So the main idea is materials only give the input of certain linguistic and cultural preparation but the main purpose is to attain language by the ultimate learning process.

Materials mainly give the direction to the teachers through which teacher get is idea how to deal with class to get maximum output. Through this article the author tries to give direction of maximum use of materials with certain perspective. With the guideline of the materials learners and teachers can be helpful because it provides input. It is the teacher’s responsibility to use the materials with the needs of the learners by balancing the outcome and context. In a learner centered classroom materials have to be have more learning centered activates and students have to get chance to take part of this activities, than the material become useful.

Review on EverWrite

EverWrite is a tool to teach English for English learner.  It is developed by VPG Integrated media, Boston. This application is easy to use and learner friendly. This application worked as a teaching tool. It has many practice session for the learners. It promotes learner’s self learning.

EverWrite is easy to handle for the new learner, because it has only four buttons to explore all things. To know the summary of the whole Application learner need to click on ‘Home’ and if the learners need any kind of help related to this application they have to click on ‘Help’. As it’s a tool for English learner so it has some exercises for learners. After doing exercises Learner can get their score by clicking on ‘score’ and if leaner needs to quit form the application s/he needs to click on ‘Quit’.

EverWrite has six parts for leaner’s, they are: Editing exercise, Identifying rhetorical paragraph, Working with translations, Organizing your thoughts, Recognizing your thesis statements and Practicing grammar. It is a full of practice session exercises. Learners test is scored and recorded in every session. Every session has different tasks for learners including choosing the correct answer, proofreading texts, rearranging statements, etc. The sessions are also leveled up, meaning the more sessions you cross in a topic the harder it becomes. The first part contains proof reading tasks where student read through texts and corrects different parts of language. Learners can always check their answers in the practice sessions. The second part of this application educates the different types of paragraphs using choose the correct answer. Third part teaches transitional verbs by allowing students select words from texts. Fourth part is rearranging sentences using choose the correct answer. Fifth and sixth part also consists chose the best answer tasks to teach thesis statement and practice grammar respectively.

According to Tom linson’s principles learners should feel at ease when handling any materials, while using this application learner feel comfortable. And it also helps to build learners confident after doing any exercise. This Application also relevant to Krashan’s input hypothesis , which states that learners progress in their knowledge of the language when they comprehend language input that is slightly more advanced than their current level. Krashen called this level of input "i+1", where "i" is the language input and "+1" is the next stage of language acquisition. Though the application doesn’t state for which level of students it should be used for but it seems fit for pre-intermediate level learners and Learners will get knowledge through doing the tasks and the tasks are little bit hard for the learner. They will acquire knowledge through practicing.

At the end, EverWrite is an interesting Application for the learner to explore and get knowledge on English Language. The more learners explore, the more they will get knowledge.

Review on Oxford Word Skill-Advance

An Oxford word skill is software for advance language learning. This software is easy to use and carry. Students do not need to install it, they can carry it with any storage device and it is easily distributable. This software is developed by oxford university press. It is designed for advanced learners. It opens a opportunity to the learner to enhance their vocabulary and their usages of this vocabulary in different context. From this software a student can practice and learn a known word differently and try these words to use their every day to day life conversation. So in this point it is not only helpful for the student but also for the teacher.

The tool’s has eighty units and their twelve headings. The headings are: Expanding your vocabulary, The body, You and other people, Leisure and lifestyle, A changing world, Institutions, News and current affairs, work and finance, concepts, spoken English, written English, Aspects of language.  In every headings there are different units, such as- asking about meaning, explaining meaning and style, phrasal verb and compound noun, words describing change, explaining job benefit etc.

Different unit contains different exercises, which are easy and simple to follow. In every exercise there are two options for the learner, learner can read the text and at the same time they can listen to the text. It helps learner reading skills and listening skill also and side by side it also develop their pronunciations.  To listen the text there are two buttons (play and stop) at the lower left corner. Learner needs to click on play button and he/she can listen the audio track speaking by a native speaker. And the interesting part is the audio part has male and female speaker. There are two levels in the exercise.  When the learner completes their first exercise s/he has to get the next step, which is little bit hard from the previous one.  There is another button showing Notebook. By clicking on it learner can write notes and save the notes and print them also. While learner doing their exercise they will get two chances to complete their tasks. It’s a great opportunity for them. Because while they are doing wrong in their exercise, wrong answer is shown to them and after doing it correctly they will get chance to go to the next level.

Oxford word skill opens a platform for different type of people. Different people have different need to learn English for different purposes. Learner can learn how to want to know medical related help from the hospital, how to talk about food, film, holiday, competitive sports, kitchen utensils etc. learner who are interested in finance they can get knowledge, how to explain job market, business world, money market, time management, workplace disputes etc. learner who wants to improve their speaking and writing they also get knowledge and information through exercises. One of the Krashen’s hypotheses, Affective filter hypothesis is working here that is learners feel free to practice without interfering others So at the end we can say that this tool is helpful for every kind of learner college/ university student, homemaker, working man/woman all types of learner. OWS is just open the field to explore one need to explore by ones interest to get knowledge through practical experience.